Author: Scott Macleod

Interview with Dave “Big Bossman” Gomez

Enjoy this feature from our special correspondent:

Guy LeDouche – Fonthill Ruffle
The Dain City Dusters dropped a tough 4-3 decision to the previously winless Atlas Steelers Wednesday night.  There was only a few bright spots for the Dusters and one was the play from the 2nd line wingers Kelly Jones and Dave Gomez who combined for 2 of the 3 Dusters goals. This is a present surprise as last year they combined for 7 goals in a unfortunately shortened season due to Covid-19.  I was able to catch up with Dave in the parking lot after to discuss what he thought of tonight’s game.

Dave, given the slow starts the Dusters have produced on the ice the first 2 weeks of the season, How did it feel to get the first goal to give the team some momentum heading in to the 3rd period?

“It felt pretty damn good and quite unexpected.  No one was surprised more than me. As you know, goals from me can be quite rare. Sort of like a lunar eclipse – kinda fun to watch but you’re not quite sure how it happens. I think my new $50 Sherwood from Costco had something to do with it. I think there’s a few more goals in that twig.”

With the hot start to your season do you think you can keep the pace up and help lead the Dusters to the King Street Cup Championship Game?

“Yes I believe I can. It would be an honour to be a Duster at the head of the Victory Parade marching down King Street to the delight of all the citizens in their scooters.”

Now this is just a rumor that I heard after the game but can you please confirm that with the loss you now have to buy Scotty “2time” MacLeod 2 dozen donuts and a take 10 from Tims for the boys back at the precinct?

“It was actually 3 dozen but I might’ve doused his apple fritters with pepper spray.”

One last question and ill let you get back to drinking your OV. What do the Dusters need to change whether its is their pregame routine, game prep or off ice condition to get off to a better 1st period next week vs the 2-0 Merritt Islanders.

“Well we could certainly use some more spark in the 1st. Should I bring a taser to the next game?” 
That would certainly be a wake up call to some of the boys on the bench.

Thank you once again for your time and good luck with the rest of the season. 

Season Preview – Pt. 6

Townline Tunnelers

Last but not least in our season previews brings us the Townline Tunnelers led by GM Craig “Shieko” Laro.  The balls of destiny bounced off Laro before landing on Warden, leaving Laro with the bluest of draft balls.  Can Laro build the Tunnelers up to a team worthy of that logo or will they stink worse than the actual Townline Tunnel?  Let’s dig in. (get it?)

In the first three rounds the Tunnlers found themselves with Romance, Nun, and Woods which are the three keywords in my pornhub searches.  It’s hard to argue with big Lance Romance as your first round pick.  Big body, scores goals, kills Paco’s.  Oddly enough he uses the same size stick as Chris “Superbaked” Woods in spite of the four foot height differential.

Actual photo of the Tunnelers top pics

Picking up Dino “Noni” Maddelina was a solid move for the Tunnelers as brings a lot of top end skill as well as being a absolute beauty in the room.  The Tunnelers stuck by their game plan of bringing in new and fresh faces and picked up Neil “What Brother” Bhan, John “We’ve already talked about dudes with two first names” Harvey and Ben “Alliteration” Brown.  All three players coming of strong if not quiet rookie season in the WNHL and look to take that next step in their development.

The middle rounds of the Tunnelers draft really went off the rails

As we move into the championship rounds, Laro made some strong moves to shore up the third line.  Bringing in guys that don’t need a nickname like Spins, and Grant Vash. Grant Vash is the WNHL version of Phil Kessel. Not well liked, eats a ton of hot dogs, and does nothing but score goals. That’s a triforce worthy of the Legend of Zelda. In the last two rounds, Laro stuck with longtime Tunneler Kenny “Lemiux” Oost, who saw his breakout season happen on the Tunnelers and TJ “Opposite of a closer” Hatton. Hatton can close deals all over Welland but put him on the ice and…

This is the hockey version of going into escrow

Will 2020 be the years the Tunnelers rise up and return to the top of the standings in the WNHL? Will Laro’s solid but quiet leadership inspire this group of turds, or will he need to bring in Torts to help sort his team out. The Tunnelers have the best logo in the game, now just need the team to match it.

The Tunnelers quest for the King Street Cup beings October 7th (TONIGHT!) against the Crown Room Kings.

Season Preview – Pt 5

Merritt Islanders

Sticking with great logos we find ourselves face to face with the Merritt Islanders run by GM Ryan “I have a question” Daniels. There is nobody in the WNHL with his, let’s call it attention to detail. Even with all this attention the Islanders still found themselves in third place in 2019. Can Daniels right the ship, or will the Islanders run aground in the Welland Canal? Let’s analyze the Islanders.

In a historic move Daniels drafted an unproven rookie in the first round by taking Shawn Boychuk. This puts an incredible amount of pressure for the rookie to live up to especially since he was drafted strictly to pass Daniels the puck. In the second round, Daniels surprised absolutely nobody and selected Willard. What can you say about one of history’s greatest love stories. They are like Romeo and Juliet, in that they should both drink poison.

Great pass Willie, I’m so glad I drafted you

Daniels added to the veteran presence by drafting longtime WNHLers Tyler “The Original TJ” Stack and Jeff “Toe Drag” Donaldson. Stack, a veteran in the WNHL, also brings leadership experience as he was the first GM to win a WNHL All Star Game, while Donaldson was last seen trying to toe drag his grandmother. For the first time in a long time TJ will be the only Stack in the WNHL with his brother moving to an unknown location. I’m not sure where it is I just know you have to turn right to get there. Sandwiched in between these long time players is Pat Riley who impressed in his rookie year last season, not only with his play but also by way of long and established career in an NBA front office, which is a joke I’m sure he’s never heard before.

Donnie’s grandmother was having none of his shit

In another unprecedented move Daniels made the first ever mid draft trade by sending over Andy Doyle to the Atlas Steelers in return for Gav “Syphilis” Sardella. Daniels then picked up Carm “Probably not even close to his last name, but I know it ends in a vowel” Gugliemi to complete the greasiest blueline you’ve ever seen. (By greasy I mean in terms of their hockey skills and abilities. This should not be intended in any other way).

I play-a the defence ova here!

Looking at a lineup with guys like Daniels and Willard, mixed with floaters like Donaldson and Stack, the Islanders knew they needed some actual work ethic, and they went and found it in the championship rounds. Bringing in Shawn “Greyhound” McKinnon, who earned the nickname by riding a bus from Hamilton to play in the WNHL, Shawn “The Hacker” Strohak, and Evan “Spielberg” Fabiani. In my opinion, these are some strong selections for the Islanders. Somebody has to dig the puck out of the corners for all the prima donnas on this team.

Finally we come to the last two rounds, and two of the most controversial picks in the draft. Pete “Peewee” Voynovich and Dev “Belmont” Skinner. Are there two more polarizing players in the WNHL? I want to rephrase that question because one has to play to be considered a player in the WNHL. In one corner you have Pete Voynovich, who is one of the most beloved WNHL players off the ice, is so friendly he insists on hugging you on the ice. He will apologize profusely while he pulls on your jersey preventing a break away. Will actual referees find his on ice antics as charming?

Then in the other corner….well…

Hey look it’s Dev Skinner and his super believable excuses.

The Islanders will be a group to watch this year, there is a lot of top end, some might say soft, talent, and some good workhorses. Can they mesh under Daniels unique management style? Will texts at 2 a.m. with personalized game plans be a bother to players? Will the clients at Daniels work care that they are putting pucks in the net but the defence is killing them? Lots of questions for the Islanders this year, but still less than Daniels.

The quest for the King Street Cup begins October 7th, against the Atlas Steelers.