Season Preview – Part 8

Crowland Murder

In the final spot in the draft board sat expansion team the Crowland Murder. After rumours swirled about potentially being named the Woodlawn Warriors (a.k.a. the Generic Generic’s) Chicken set the league on fire with the Crowland Murder. Chicken McChicken was anointed GM by the commish after spending years roaming the WNHL blue lines for the Legends and the Dusters. Now on his own, free from the tyranny of Baz, Chicken will finally get a chance to fly on his own. He found himself with the last draft position, but with the addition of this years snake draft, Chicken was the first GM ever to make back to back picks. Did he screw it up? Let’s have a look see.

Chicken. You want to play without Baz?

Using his historic position as the first double pick the Crowland Murder selected Ryan “Spray Tan” Bering, and Mark “What’s an Andy” Doyle. Bering a former number one overall pick has seen his stock slide all the way to 8th. Will that motivate him enough to actually pass the puck this year? History says no. Then from high top his golf course throne, where he looks down at the lesser thans, Doyle emerges and blesses the Murder with his presence. This is the first year we’ve seen Doyle playing without Campbell which is why we’ll see Jon with 4 goals this year. Can Doyle thrive away from the cushy Fonthill life and learn to go hard like Crowland? For real though, Crowland go hard.

Doyle when he see somebody who doesn’t live on a golf course

Not only did he leave the Dusters but Chicken took Dryden “The Mustache” Marquette with him. Chicken and Dryden will make a strong defensive core for the Murder and are going to be tough to play against in their own zone. The Murder (it’s just fine to type) picked up on Frankie “The Tankie” Mauro and Bill “The Thrill” Crumm. Solid selections for the expansion franchise, players that can play up and down the lineup as they say, and great room additions. They also brought in the villain of the WNHL Steve “The Pet Peeve” Wurfel. Wurfel isn’t afraid to get in the mix, and try to goon it up, (as far as WNHL standards go). Then just to watch the world burn the Murder drafted Zach “The Wildcard” Haist. The only player in WNHL history to have a rule named after him because he is such a goddamn cheater.

Like this, but drunker.

Going into the championship rounds the Murder added brought in Ryan “All Natural” Habjan, and the returning Chris “The Hipster” Hugye. Straight from last years call up list Tommy “Woodstick” Muir gets a full time spot with this years Murder squad. (that’s also fun to write). The Murder ended the draft with the rookie trifecta with Alex “AR4” Rysdale, Jason “The Closer” Hatton, and BJ “Mr. Irrelevant” Mowatt who won a wonderful gift basket at the draft. The Murder are a wildcard, anything goes.

Prediction: 4th