Season Preview – Part 7

Merritt Islanders

The Merritt Islanders sit at number 7 in the draft order but maybe number 1 in team names. The long time struggling franchise has new leadership this year as Tyler “The Rose City Thorn” Stack takes over the reigns and looks to breathe some life into a dying franchise. Stack actually won the WNHL Draft Lottery and selected number 7 as his draft spot. Not number 1. Number 7. Say what you will about Stack, this was a dumb move. Let’s see how this move worked out for him.

The Islanders used that 7th overall pick to select Lance “The Paco Destroyer” Romance. Coming off his King Street Cup Championship with the Townline Tunnelers Romance jumps ship to anchor the back end for the Islanders where he will look to assassinate pucks and Pacos. In the second round the Islanders committed to their long time forward Willard The Unlikeable. Willard has played for the Islanders for a couple seasons now, however, this year he doesn’t have to carry Ryan Daniel or the weight of his pony tail on his back anymore, so we could see Willard go off for 30 this year.

What’s up ladies? You come to Hanks often?

In the next two rounds the Islanders struck gold and drafted the Beadle Boys, Teddy Ballgame and Jeff “Less Cool Nickname” Beadle. In the world of WNHL brothers, you’ll be hard pressed to find a better two than the Beadle boys, both on the ice and in the room. Dingers and singers are what you get when you draft the Beadles. The Islanders followed this up by selecting Aaron “The Lesser of the Two” Bahns. Mid pick used on a mid player. The Islanders continued building room depth with the addition of “Not Tall” Al Jones. While the Islanders ended up with the lesser of the Bahn brothers, they came out on top in the splitting of the Doyle boys by drafting Andy “Who’s Mark” Doyle. In these mid rounds the Islanders have done a great job of setting the team up for great room this season.

Islander room after their first win.

As we move to the championship rounds, the Islanders locked up the goalie position by selecting Ryan “The Educator” Rumsby, who returns to his goalie roots after a less than impressive season as a skater. Rumsby realized that skating is actually hard, and he would prefer to just stand there for most of the game, leading to him to find his way back between the pipes. The Islanders then picked up Matt “The Neighbour” Backshall. The closest he’ll ever come to being a champion is living next door to one. TJ “Can’t Close” Hatton joins the Islanders as an insurance policy for a great room. An insurance policy they’ll need as they also brought in Shawn “Greyhound” MacKinnon and The Human Conspiracy Theory Grant Vash. The former is about as well liked as ranch dressing with wings, while the latter believes the world to be flat. The Islanders capped off the draft by selecting “The Inspector” Dave “Dig Your Grave” Gomez.

Prediction: 6th

The only world that the Islanders win a cup