Lincoln Street Legends

Moving on from the leagues worst logo to one of the leagues best the Lincoln Street Legends. Almost cementing their title as Legends after finishing first place in the 2019 regular season as an expansion team. If GM Jay “Throw it up the middle” Thom looks to replicate that success he’s going to have find it from the fourth spot in the draft where dreams go to die. Let’s kill his dreams.

Coming out of the blocks Jay Thom went both ways and picked a WNHL O.G. and perennial first round draft pick Allan Cockell, and followed it by drafting Corey “Fauxhawk” Hutchinson. We here in the WNHL believe that the fauxhawk is the worst kind of hawk after “Mo” and “actual”. Thom selected Dryden in the third round. On the draft board he is listed as Dryden M. as in missed most of the season last year. So in the first three rounds you have the loudest, worst dressed and most absent all going to the Legends. Sounds fun.

Moving into the middle rounds, the Legends looked to balance out the unlikeable with a couple of the more likeable guys in the league, Rob “The Professor” Foster and Bill “Prince William” Crum. The flow that Foster brings to the rink will work to counteract the fauxhawk overload in the room, while Crum will bring some Fonthill class to a group of degenerates.

Jay Thom followed suit of the other three teams and brought in a familial matchup by drafting brothers Chris “Henrik” and Greg “Daniel” Bosak, who are just like the Sedins if the Sedins diet consisted of nothing but booze and weed with the occasional Rex pizza thrown in the mix. The four weeks that Cousin Save joins the team will bring the familial impact to three and give the Legends a boost on the ice and in the parking lots.

Moving into the championship rounds Thom looked to be on the right side of the law by bringing back Mike Law and following up by drafting Kris “Don’t call me a bus driver” Habjan. Then, just to ensure his team wins the title for most unlikeable, the Legends brought in Chad “Beavertail” Kellman. Nobody in the history of this game can call for a pass like Kellman.

The Legends will have a target on their back this year due to last years strong performance and the overall unlikeability of the team. Will the Legends respond like champions or will they go down like a bunch of whiney middle aged dudes complaining about not having enough guns?

The Legends quest to the top begins October 7th vs the Dain City Dusters.

Dain City Dusters

The Dain City Dusters and GM Brian “Ridiculous last name” Baz are next in our series of season previews. Drafting third the Dusters were looking to replicate the success of their inaugural season which saw them finish second in the regular season. Will Baz be able to build on his solid expansion year, or will this year’s team look worse than their logo? Let’s judge the Dain City Dusters.

In the first round, in what may be a bit of a surprise, the Dusters found themselves staring face to face with two time Andy Bosak award winner and former first overall draft pick Dalton Wilson. When asked how he felt about falling to third overall Wilson didn’t say anything, because he never says anything about anything. In the next few rounds the Dusters went hunting and came back with a Chicken and The Rat himself Chris Accursi. Accursi a former GM brings solid leadership to the dressing room along with the knowledge on how to not win the King Street Cup.

After picking the most rookies last year the Dusters stayed the course and picked up newcomer Tom Napper, whose impressive performance in the prospects game led to his third round selection, along with Mike “Never trust a guy with two first names” Kelly, Josh “I grew up on a Rue” Lefrancois, and Al “There are four Al’s in this league” Clark. Rumors of a rager of a rookie party at Little Nashville’s broke out after a photo of the group surfaced on social media.

Also joining the Dusters are a solid Rose City trio of Jake Hope, Kelly Jones and Tall Al. A third line that represents all three parts of Welland, the East, West and French. A smart move by Baz to draft our beloved commish, as not only do you get the player, but he manages the beer and the music for you leaving the GM free to make any last minute adjustments to the line up or to get a little more drunk. Ever since he escaped from the circus and joined the WNHL, Le Grand Alain has quietly turned into a reliable third line player, who has even had started the transition to defence, using that 9 foot stick like a serpent’s tongue to break up plays.

Finally, not to be outdone by drafting brothers, the Dain City Dusters will be the first team in WNHL history to have a father and son suiting up for the same team. Dave and Callum Gomez will join the Dusters and ensure a season of awkwardness every time somebody makes a sex joke in the dressing room.

The 2020-2021 Dain City Dusters look to build on last years success. To do this Baz will have to rely on the rookies on his team to find the same success as last year’s group while at the same time hoping the veterans in the WNHL don’t die of embarrassment from having a logo that Baz most certainly drew himself.

The Dusters journey to the King Street Cup starts October 7th against the Lincoln Street Legends.

Atlas Steelers

Part 2 of our 2020 season preview will look at the Atlas Steelers who are led by their GM Jon Campbell. In his second year behind the wheel of one of the First Four Franchises in the league, Campbell was granted the second overall draft pick. Did Campbell use this advantage to build a team that will restore the once great franchise to glory or will the team embarrass their friends and family with a 5th place finish like last year. Let’s judge them with our harshest eyes.

Campbell, a firm believer in the “892 is better than you” philosophy proved it by selecting three Fonthill players in the first three rounds. Mark Doyle and Eric Sinclair return to the Steelers after their impressive seasons last year, and are joined by longtime Fonthillite Mike Podio. The Upperclassmen of the Niagara Region look to reunite the 1993 Pelham Panther success under the WNHL banner and prove that they are not just Niagara on the Lake Jr.

Moving to the middle rounds Campbell selected Colin Cook. Cook was an Atlas Steeler in the inaugural year of the King Street Cup era. Not only has he returned to the WNHL, but he has brought with him a wife that owns a cookie business, automatically making him a dressing room favorite. While only there for half a season, Cook was an impact player on that inaugural Atlas Steelers team. A long time off, I’d imagine a lot of cookies, and a fourth round pick later, will he be like Kovalchuk on the Kings or Kovalchuk on the Canadiens? Doesn’t matter, bring cookies.

Also in the middle rounds Matt Dusso, a.k.a. “Kevin Shatter-kirk*” made the move over to the Steelers and will bring his red eye Jedi style of play with him. I personally am looking forward to a strong pregame performance from the “Vaped Crusader*”.

*Credit to Matt Sajn

Impressed by the Kings having brothers on their team, Campbell followed suit and picked up Andy Doyle brother of Mark, and Teddy Beadle brother of former Steeler Jeff Beadle who is taking the year off to focus on his career behind the mic for the WNHL. A Jeff takes his matinee good looks in front of the camera his brother Teddy “Ballgame” will be responsible for bringing the Beadle to the WNHL in the 2020 season.

They say that the King Street Cup is won in the later rounds and in those rounds Campbell again went back to the 892 well and brought back two more former Steelers in Justin “I’m also from Pelham” Pupo, and the 2 time WNHL All Star Champion, the 2 time King Street Cup Champion and the future First Ballot WNHL Hall of Famer, Scotty “Is he the biggest asshole in the league” “2 Times” MacLeod.

Now here’s something you may not know about the two time King Street Cup winner, is that he honed his skills, he sharpened his craft, he learned that championship edge in the Pelham minor house league program. So not only have the Steelers added a future hall of famer they’ve added little more of Pelham minor hockey spirit.

The next round was NO SELECTION, because Campbell killed that pick so much they had to have a moment of silence.

In the final two rounds the Steelers picked up former Lincoln Street Legend Curt “Old Curty Bastard” Rousseau, and Chris “I’m just happy somebody picked me” Paco. I believe if Rousseau can get out the protractor and fix the sights on that twig and capitalize on friggin’ 10% of his chances the guy would be a goddamn all star. Jay Thom was quoted as saying this pick is a “steal”, but the guy shoots worse than the bad guys in Die Hard.

Chris Paco moves up from last years Mr. Irrelevant to actually being picked in the draft. A slimmer, more aerodynamic Paco coming into his second year after a tough rookie campaign which saw him miss some time due to injury after running into the runaway bull Lance Romance which looked something like…

And with that the draft was over and the 2020 Atlas Steelers have been assembled. Last year the Steelers scored on pace with the top teams in the league but struggled keeping the puck out of their own net. (Rumors were they heard that their defensive blue line was technically in Welland so so they refused to cross it).

The Steelers enter the 2020 season as a team built on the pedigree of the Pelham Minor Hockey program (and the best arena fries in the game), and a room chemistry built by knowing that you are, in fact, just a little bit better than everybody else.

The journey to proving it starts October 7th against the Merritt Islanders.