Fuck boys, season’s winding down. The battle for first comes down to two. Perennial powerhouses the Atlas Steelers, led by “Greasy” Gav Sardella, and the expansion Townline Tunnelers fronted by Craig “Shieko” Laro. The two teams are separated by only 2 points with just 3 games remaining, which means every game counts. Grinding out victories this time of year is like grinding on a Fonthill girl in high school, it feels great, but fuck, you have to work to get it.

Eryn “Slumlord” Warden and the Crown Room Kings hung in for most of the season, but plagued by attendance issues (rumour has it, an std spread through the team like a….well…an std) fell out of contention for first. IF the team can stay away from the East Side Welland girls and all manage to show up they are just as much a threat as anybody in this league and can do some damage in the playoffs. It’s a big “IF” though.

Then we have the Welland Stelcobras. Led by Matt “Dboy” Sajn the Stelcobras have secured their spot in the basement of the WNHL. However, as the 86 Mets showed us, a team fueled by cocaine addiction and beer can accomplish anything. Can the Stelcobras summon the coacaine fueled greatness of Doc Gooden, and the “I’m pretty sure this dude is fucking crazy”ness of Lenny Dykstra and shock the world?

Playoffs start on February 20th, and will be a round robin format. 2 points for a win, 1 for a tie, and never ending shame for a loss. At the end, the top two team put life and limb on the line in a battle for the King Street Cup at the Meridian Center. The others will play for third, but much like when The Tea Party opened for Tool, nobody but your family cares.

Three games left to giver.

The WNHL has formed an Elite Tournament Team and they are doing a fundraiser for an upcoming tournament…..It will be a great night to get together for some Comedy. Check the details below

Come join us Friday February 1^st @ Showtime Entertainment on St. Paul Street in St.Catharines
doors open at 7:00pm and show starts at 8:00pm

Tickets are $20 and can be purchased from members of the Death Squad or purchased at the door.

Mike Rita – Headliner

Comedian Mike Rita is exactly what you think a comic should be… funny, smart & relate-able.  He was the winner of the Second City’s ‘Cream of Comedy’ and the runner up for Now Magazine’s 2014 & 2015 ‘Best Male Stand-up’.

Mike has worked with the likes of Joe Rogan, Bobby Lee, Mike MacDonald, Ari Shaffir & The Portuguese Kids.  Constantly on tour with Yuk Yuk’s Comedy Clubs but always finding time two host his award winning ‘Stoner Sundays’ at the world renowned Vapor Central in downtown Toronto. Mike is a comedian who is always working hard to have his voice heard and is always looking to make new audiences laugh.

Che Durena – Feature

Che Durena was born and raised in British Columbia, He decided to make to jump to Toronto when he discovered his love for stand-up comedy. Since then he’s been hustling the GTA comedy scene to become one of the city’s best up and comers

He came runner up in Sirius XM’S Next Top Comic, has had headlining shows at JFL42 and has appeared on Just For Laugh’s All Access on Comedy Central.

His comedy touches on his ridiculous life living abroad and his perception of more serious matters like race, relationship and drugs. Always finding the absurd angle to create a fresh and hilarious perspective.

David Green – MC

“Punniest Comedian in Canada” – Cogeco TV

Since moving to Niagara Falls in 2007, this Nottingham born comedian has established himself as a staple in the Canadian entertainment scene. He would prefer to be a paper clip.

An award winning writer with numerous TV and festival appearances under his belt, he now spends his time travelling the country spreading the joy like butter on crumpets.

Armed with quick wit and a dry British humour rumoured to be more refreshing than a moist towelette, his creative wordplay and silly stories always leave audiences wanting more.

GET YOUR TICKETS BEFORE THEY ARE GONE

Congrats to the Welland Blue Stars for being the WNHL Christmas Classic 2018 Champions. It was a great night of hockey, food and giving back to Open Arms Mission in Welland. Four teams brought in 2902 Pounds of non-perishable food items to help Welland Families, crushing last year’s record of 2000 Pounds of Food. Shout-out to Team Jacked Daniels that brought in over 900 pounds of food on their own! These WNHL guys really care and make the effort.

Thanks to Presstime Design, Rex Hotel, Erica Hodgson, Big Money Wides, Aiden Murca, Carly Jones, Fern Macleod, Megan Pew and the City of Welland Staff. Without their help this tournament simply could not have happened.