3 – Dain City Dusters
Moving down the draft ladder to number three, we find Brian Bazawhatever and The Dain City Dusters. Last season was a chaotic one with the relocation rumours surrounding the team all season, Once the Dain City Bridge was taken down, the tavern closed a short time later and the Dusters found fans tough to come by. The rumours of Fonthill and Fenwick trying to lure the Dusters to secure a second team in the LOS area code plagued the team all season. A good playoff run had the Dusters missing out on the championship by 1 goal in the third tiebreaker. A heartbreaking end for a rollercoaster season, but the Dusters are dusted off and ready to have their hearts broken once again.
Baz likes to build his teams from the top down. Baz will ride shotgun with the top line center, because he, much like Jon Campbell, has a strong aversion to his own zone. In order to make up for his case of defensivitis, Baz will play with a center that can cover both center and right wing in his own zone. Once the center does all that work he can find Baz on the wing near the opponents blue line and that’s where he does the most damage. Baz can snipe. Say what you will about him, you can say he’s big, dumb, and ugly, but boy can he snipe. Last year Ryan Bering the Dusters first round pick was the poor bastard who had to carry Baz on his back. Bering was having a strong season, playing on the same team as his brother Carl “Good To See You” Bering until the two were forced to the long term IR.
Moving down the depth chart Baz iced a second line featuring CBoz and Dusso. Opponents said the two would just appear out of a cloud of reefer and bury four goals on you. CBoz and Deuce,. along with Chicken, Baz, and Habber were strong contributors to the Dusters league leading parking lot presence. As the Steelers draft for the room, the Dusters draft for the lot. The two are very similar, but different.
Baz tried to copy the Leafs (because of all their playoff success) third line of Spezza, Thorton, and Simmonds, and make a third line of veterans, like Billy “BiPolar” Topolinski, and Kevin “Nothing Sucks Like A” Dyson. He also added the two time King Street Cup Champion, the two time WNHL All Star Champion, and the future first round hall of famer Scotty Legend. The trio formed a grind line and worked the corners like Julia Roberts. A full grinding season takes it’s toll and B Top after missing several games through the season retired at the end of the year, Dyson is spending his summer as a statistician for the Jr. Jackfish, while Scotty Legend is getting drunk and high waiting for the next season to start.
So what does Baz do this year? He picked the best offensive player in the draft last year and still ended up on the outside looking in. Does he come out of the gates with a defenceman? For years Baz has relied on Chicken to anchor his defence and together with Dryden formed a strong top pairing. Once Carl Bering was placed on the IR, the second pairing became a problem for the Dusters, as Le Grand Alain was left back there to be paired with Gavin “Should Probably Get Tested” Sardella, who is being held together with duct tape at this point. I don’t think Baz cares enough about defence to pick one in the first round, and he really loves first line centers.
Prediction: Ryan Bering